Mindfulness, the grown up’s Teddy Bear.
Isn’t there something deeply comforting about the way a small child instinctively knows how to self-soothe?
We’ve all seen it—the soft toy clutched close, the beloved blanket drawn to a cheek, the rhythmic motion of thumb-sucking, or the swirl of a lock of hair twisting around small fingers. These gentle, nurturing habits are a child’s way of finding peace in a busy and sometimes chaotic world. No one teaches them this skill; it’s innate. They don’t hide their need for comfort, and they embrace whatever helps them feel safe.
Why, as adults, have we lost touch with this simple wisdom? While children reach for their trusted, comforting items, many of us grow up and reach for things far less innocent. Alcohol, food, shopping, or even mindless scrolling on our phones become substitutes for that worn-out stuffed bear. We turn to substances or habits that, in the short term, seem to ease our discomfort but ultimately distance us from the real relief we seek.
Why is it that as we age, we move away from gentle self-soothing methods and turn to more harmful ones? It’s easy to blame stress, the pressures of adult life, or our fast-paced world. But there’s something deeper at play. The real shift occurs when vulnerability starts to feel like a weakness. Children have no problem crying out when they need comfort, but as adults, many of us feel that showing vulnerability is akin to admitting failure. We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we don’t have it all together, something is wrong with us. And that is not a reality that we want getting ‘out there’.
The older we get, the harder it is to show that we need help, and even harder to admit we need to soothe ourselves. Instead, we seek out quick fixes. A drink at the end of a long day, comfort food, or retail therapy. These things aren’t inherently bad, but when they become the only ways we cope, they can lead us further from the real healing we need.
Returning to Simplicity, the Mindful Way
Children naturally live in the present moment. That’s part of why their self-soothing habits work so well—they’re not worried about yesterday’s tantrum or tomorrow’s playground squabble. They’re fully immersed in the now, and that is where true comfort lies. The good news is, there is a way we can recapture that self-care, we don’t need those props of our childhood days, everything we need is within us. And the key to open that long shut door is mindfulness. Mindfulness offers us a way back to that forgotten simplicity.
Mindfulness encourages us to pause and pay attention to what’s happening within us. It teaches us that we are not our thoughts, we are simply the observer of them.
When our thoughts become painful feelings, mindfulness asks us to press pause and notice those thoughts and feelings, it teaches us how to sit with them without any judgment towards ourselves. It allows us to ask the following. What are we really experiencing? Is it stress? Loneliness? Fear? Often, through the simple act of acknowledging these emotions and holding them gently in our minds and hearts instead of numbing them, we can begin to soothe ourselves in healthier ways.
The Perfect Solution for Grown-Up Soothing
Mindfulness is the modern adult’s version of the soft toy and the blanket, the thumb and the soft locket of hair. It asks us to show up for ourselves in moments of need. It doesn’t require us to be perfect or put together; it only asks that we notice where we are and what we feel. And it tell us that in this moment we are fine just as we are.
Instead of pouring a glass of wine when the day feels overwhelming, mindfulness suggests we sit with that feeling for a moment. Instead of mindlessly reaching for the phone to escape, we can ask ourselves, “What do I truly need right now?” Often, the answer is rest, connection, or simply a moment of peace.
By practicing mindfulness, we learn to soothe ourselves in ways that are lasting and nourishing. We begin to show up for ourselves like we would for a small child, offering gentle care and attention instead of criticism or avoidance. It’s a practice that, with time, reconnects us to the simple wisdom we had as children: to embrace our need for comfort and to find it in ways that truly support our well-being.
In a world that constantly pulls us in a myriad of directions, mindfulness offers us a way back to ourselves—a way to soothe the adult mind with the same tenderness a child feels when holding their beloved bear.
Let mindfulness be your comfort, your calm in the storm, and the tool that allows you to self-soothe in a way that is gentle, kind, and sustainable. Just as the child finds peace in their blanket, you will find peace within yourself.
It’s there, I promise you, you just stopped looking for it.
Veronica 💛
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